I was chatting with my friend the other day and we were talking about his ex. Obviously, he poured his heart out on the bad things that his ex did to him. Most of the things were the same old thing relation problems but the only thing that I found intriguing about his ex was that he has the habit of leaving his own mobile number and name on the walls of public toilets. Who, in the right mind, would leave his own number and name on the wall of public toilet?!
I always thought that the numbers and names on the wall of public toilets are to spike back at that person. One who probably hated the victim so much that one writes the phone number and name of the victim to expose the victim to the embarrassment of public ridicule.
Since my friend told me of his ex wall writing habit, I actually started reading the writings on the walls. What I found disturbing are the comments next to the numbers and names on the public toilet walls. A majority of these comments are written by homophobic and gay bashers. The one that I remember is one comment next to a peep hole. It said, ‘Bloody faggot! If I catch u, I’ll poke ur eyes blind!’
Does his ex know that there are so much violent going around? Why is he leaving himself to an open invitation to potential violent? One sick gay basher might just call him and lure him into a trap. It did happen and it will happen again!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Positive Living
Early this year a friend told me that his boyfriend was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if he took the test himself. He told me he did not want to take the test because he did not want to know his status. He told me that if he dies tomorrow, it would not make a different. I was shocked. Till today he refused to take the test.
Few months later, my current told me that one of his friends was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if his friend was getting any medical attention. He told me that the friend felt that he did not need any medical attention but with the HIV+ status, gave him the passport to have unsafe sex and live life to the fullest.
Right after the Eid celebration, one of my friends came over and confessed his sin to me. That was the same day after he went for the HIV blood tests because his doctor was suspecting him to be HIV+. He also told me that he thanked god to give him a second chance to repent and prepare himself for his death.
The only similarity of these three cases is that all three believed that being diagnosed HIV+ is like a death penalty. Each of them may took different approach how to end their death but they were all seeing themselves driving in a car at 150 MPH heading towards a wall.
None of these cases believe that there is life after being diagnosed HIV+. I do feel sad for all of them. They all need to realise that with proper medical attention, positive living mentality and supportive family and friends around, one can still be HIV+ and live life to the fullest.
A friend of mine, who is a policeman, was diagnosed HIV+ 2 years ago. He had the similar psychological breakdown initially. Being in a macho profession, it was devastating to be known as gay and even worst of HIV+ status. He went through hell initially. To add on to his misery, the physician who was attending to him was his boss’s wife. I told him that if his doctor was professional, she would not disclose his case to her husband. Only after that he trusted his physician and allowed medical attention. Now with the support from his family and few close friends, he is living a positive life.
A wise friend of mine told me that if you are being diagnosed HIV+, do just take it as any other medical illness. If you are suffering from diabetic, high blood pressure, heart problem or kidney failure you do need to be on medication attention for the rest of your life. It is the same thing with being diagnosed HIV+.
Few months later, my current told me that one of his friends was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if his friend was getting any medical attention. He told me that the friend felt that he did not need any medical attention but with the HIV+ status, gave him the passport to have unsafe sex and live life to the fullest.
Right after the Eid celebration, one of my friends came over and confessed his sin to me. That was the same day after he went for the HIV blood tests because his doctor was suspecting him to be HIV+. He also told me that he thanked god to give him a second chance to repent and prepare himself for his death.
The only similarity of these three cases is that all three believed that being diagnosed HIV+ is like a death penalty. Each of them may took different approach how to end their death but they were all seeing themselves driving in a car at 150 MPH heading towards a wall.
None of these cases believe that there is life after being diagnosed HIV+. I do feel sad for all of them. They all need to realise that with proper medical attention, positive living mentality and supportive family and friends around, one can still be HIV+ and live life to the fullest.
A friend of mine, who is a policeman, was diagnosed HIV+ 2 years ago. He had the similar psychological breakdown initially. Being in a macho profession, it was devastating to be known as gay and even worst of HIV+ status. He went through hell initially. To add on to his misery, the physician who was attending to him was his boss’s wife. I told him that if his doctor was professional, she would not disclose his case to her husband. Only after that he trusted his physician and allowed medical attention. Now with the support from his family and few close friends, he is living a positive life.
A wise friend of mine told me that if you are being diagnosed HIV+, do just take it as any other medical illness. If you are suffering from diabetic, high blood pressure, heart problem or kidney failure you do need to be on medication attention for the rest of your life. It is the same thing with being diagnosed HIV+.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Straighten Up
It is the Eid Mubarak Festive season again. Like most Muslim of Malaysia, I did the ‘balik kampung’ thingy (back to home town). As usual the only thing to do during this festive season was to go around visiting relatives’ houses. But without fail, the same question that kept popping out frequently is, ‘When will you be getting married?’ Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I wish I could just tell them that I am gay and would only want to marry a MAN!
Living in KL, far way from my hometown, I am openly gay living with my boyfriend where my friends and neighbours respect and understand our lifestyle. Back in my hometown, I obviously had to pretend to be straight. Thank god that this game of charade is only for the short visit of the festive season. However, not all are fortunate enough ‘to go back’ to their dream lifestyle. During this festive season, I had the opportunity to see my cousins, who I know are gays themselves, living the life that is expected by the society. Yup, pretending being straight and married with a wife!
Most amazingly, they worked very hard to straighten themselves. Two years ago my cousin initially had to adopt a child to build his family. Both my cousin and his wife did not disclose whose fault it was for the long barren years but your guess would be as good as mine. However, after the first adopted child, he seemed to like the idea of being a father and worked very hard to become one of his own and at last did he become one on my last visit.
My other gay cousin built his family quite instantaneous after his wedding. I was happy for him but the last update I got from his mom is that he is having a second wife! How far does this cousin of mine want to proof his ‘straightness’? Or does he really like the creatures from Venus?
Whatever it is, I do take off my hat off for both them.
Living in KL, far way from my hometown, I am openly gay living with my boyfriend where my friends and neighbours respect and understand our lifestyle. Back in my hometown, I obviously had to pretend to be straight. Thank god that this game of charade is only for the short visit of the festive season. However, not all are fortunate enough ‘to go back’ to their dream lifestyle. During this festive season, I had the opportunity to see my cousins, who I know are gays themselves, living the life that is expected by the society. Yup, pretending being straight and married with a wife!
Most amazingly, they worked very hard to straighten themselves. Two years ago my cousin initially had to adopt a child to build his family. Both my cousin and his wife did not disclose whose fault it was for the long barren years but your guess would be as good as mine. However, after the first adopted child, he seemed to like the idea of being a father and worked very hard to become one of his own and at last did he become one on my last visit.
My other gay cousin built his family quite instantaneous after his wedding. I was happy for him but the last update I got from his mom is that he is having a second wife! How far does this cousin of mine want to proof his ‘straightness’? Or does he really like the creatures from Venus?
Whatever it is, I do take off my hat off for both them.
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