On 29 March, 2010, Ricky Martin publicly revealed his sexuality, saying, “I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.” …. And about time too!
It was so irony to get this news in the morning because just last night I was chatting with my partner of how closeted gay men deal with their frustration. They would excessively indulge themselves in either food, drinks, hobbies, religion or other things that they can divert their mind on. On Oprah there was this married guy who lost weight in hundreds of pounds and gained them all back again, a constant major battle with his weight. I sincerely think the real problem is that he is gay. A ‘straight’ friend of mine relentlessly drowned himself in alcohol. The rest of the gang suspects that he is gay and is not able to deal it. A relative of mine who is married with kids, and whom I know is gay, spends most of his free time on the golf course. Do these indulgences address the real issue? For how long can one suppress it, constantly fighting with oneself and living in a lie?
I remember during my student time, there was this retiree who was like a fixture and fitting at a gay bar that I frequented. Everyone there knew his story. After his retirement, he outed himself with his family. His wife left him after a messy divorce. His only son did want to talk to him because of the shame. At the age of 60+, he was old and lonely with very little retirement money left from his messy divorce. The only thing left for him to do was to spend most his time in that gay bar ogling over the young beautiful boys.
Not wanting to be like this guy, I came out to my friends. I was 25 years old then. I realised that I had wasted a third of my life living in a lie and I was not planning to waste the other two third.
At the age of 38, Ricky Martin finally came out to the world. I salute him and I do hope that he enjoys the rest of his life to the fullest with his adopted twin sons.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Last weekend, I watched this amazingly moving movie on relationship of parent and gay son at a Malaysian gay activist movement as part of their 'Coming Out programme'. I highly recommend all gays to watch this if they plan to come out. Well done to Pang and friends at Seksualiti Merdeka!