Tug of war

Having two is better than one. Well, that is what they say but not for me.

I was secretly going out with two beautiful boys. Meticulous planning, time management and constant lying were essential in the relationship. Initially, it was great as both had a complimenting timetable for me to slot in my week schedule. One was free on the weekdays and the other was free on the weekend. We shall call the one on weekend as Ed and the other one on weekday as Ben. This was only great for a moment but I knew I had to face the music sooner or later.

That very day came when Ed called me on the weekday for some emotional support. I wanted to cut the conversation short as I was already with Ben. He demanded a bit more time but Ben was already getting annoyed. I picked on Ed and ended the call with a temper. Later he called again and again. I was already in bed with Ben and decided not pick up the calls. An hour later, someone knock the door and I was stupid enough to open the door. No bonus for guessing who was at the door, Ed obviously! He pushed the door opened and rushed straight to my bedroom. Ben, not expecting anyone to barge into the bedroom, was half naked. Ed in shocked rushed out of the apartment and I followed suit. I stopped him and we had a high-pitch discussion near the poolside. He wanted to know how many time had Ben and me had done it and I told him three times (which was partially true as it was three visits with many sex). He did not believe me and he went back to the apartment to ask Ben himself. When we were all in my bedroom, he asked so many questions but both Ben and I did not utter a word. Being in rage, Ed stormed out of the apartment and I decided to leave it as it is.

Meanwhile, Ben packed him stuff and left. Before he did, he told me that he needed time to think about the whole situation. After Ben left, I sms-ed Ed to ask if he had reached his place safely as he would have ride his motorbike dangerously. He called me back and we spoke for a short while. He decided to come to my apartment that night to discuss further. When he was at my place, he agreed to stay with me with condition that I was to be faithful to only him. I agreed.

However, this was not true. I, with my forever gatalness, called Ben a few days later. Ben apparently had considered the situation and told me that he would not mind to be with me even in the know of the other one. I was pleased.

During that week, I had to go to China Town and Ben was to join me for lunch. Ed was to meet me later that evening because he was supposed to help me with a job. On my way to China Town, Ed surprised me by calling me and told me that he was already on the way to see me. I was forced to ask Ben to leave me and had to meet up with Ed instead. Ben was obviously not happy with that decision. I was not happy with the situation too and in the end Ed had to bear me picking on him the whole day for not giving me space to do things on my own.

Weekend came and Ed spent his time with me. It was a delightful time together but on the last night of the weekend, he asked me if I was still seeing the other boy. I then decided to just tell him the truth. He accepted it and decided that he did not mind if I was to see both of them but I had to be fair. I assured him.

It was long planned that I was to spend one night with Ben on the Highlands. A short trip from the city for a short holiday. I told Ed of it and got his blessing for the trip. I went up the highland with Ben. Ben thought it was an escape from the reality as there was only the two of us. I did not tell him of Ed knowing as I did not want to spoil his holiday. We were back in my apartment the day after that I decided to tell Ben. He was furious as I did not tell him the whole truth. Nevertheless, I managed to persuade him to accept the whole new situation. Hence, I was officially going out with two boyfriends.

WOW! How lucky, one might say. But this was just the beginning of hell to me.

From thereon, everything was measured by macro-millimeter and the scrutiny under the microscope. How come you sms him more that me? Can you not call him when I am around? Last I remembered there were ten condoms in the box and now there is only three, you had so much sex with him? Can I stay still Monday? Can I just drop by during the weekend? What product does he uses for his beauty routine? What perfume he wears? Can you please change the bedcover before I come? How could you watch that movie with him? I don’t want to see his stuff around when I am there! Does he use my stuff? Why is he so stupid? Why is he so rude?
It was amazing. Every time without fail there would be some little thing that cropped up. I had to defend the other one every time. Time spent with any one of them was a very unpleasant. I felt so very unhappy. They are constantly in the tug of war and I am the rope. I just can not cope with it any longer. I must choose to either one of them or neither at all!