I was chatting with my friend the other day and we were talking about his ex. Obviously, he poured his heart out on the bad things that his ex did to him. Most of the things were the same old thing relation problems but the only thing that I found intriguing about his ex was that he has the habit of leaving his own mobile number and name on the walls of public toilets. Who, in the right mind, would leave his own number and name on the wall of public toilet?!
I always thought that the numbers and names on the wall of public toilets are to spike back at that person. One who probably hated the victim so much that one writes the phone number and name of the victim to expose the victim to the embarrassment of public ridicule.
Since my friend told me of his ex wall writing habit, I actually started reading the writings on the walls. What I found disturbing are the comments next to the numbers and names on the public toilet walls. A majority of these comments are written by homophobic and gay bashers. The one that I remember is one comment next to a peep hole. It said, ‘Bloody faggot! If I catch u, I’ll poke ur eyes blind!’
Does his ex know that there are so much violent going around? Why is he leaving himself to an open invitation to potential violent? One sick gay basher might just call him and lure him into a trap. It did happen and it will happen again!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Positive Living
Early this year a friend told me that his boyfriend was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if he took the test himself. He told me he did not want to take the test because he did not want to know his status. He told me that if he dies tomorrow, it would not make a different. I was shocked. Till today he refused to take the test.
Few months later, my current told me that one of his friends was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if his friend was getting any medical attention. He told me that the friend felt that he did not need any medical attention but with the HIV+ status, gave him the passport to have unsafe sex and live life to the fullest.
Right after the Eid celebration, one of my friends came over and confessed his sin to me. That was the same day after he went for the HIV blood tests because his doctor was suspecting him to be HIV+. He also told me that he thanked god to give him a second chance to repent and prepare himself for his death.
The only similarity of these three cases is that all three believed that being diagnosed HIV+ is like a death penalty. Each of them may took different approach how to end their death but they were all seeing themselves driving in a car at 150 MPH heading towards a wall.
None of these cases believe that there is life after being diagnosed HIV+. I do feel sad for all of them. They all need to realise that with proper medical attention, positive living mentality and supportive family and friends around, one can still be HIV+ and live life to the fullest.
A friend of mine, who is a policeman, was diagnosed HIV+ 2 years ago. He had the similar psychological breakdown initially. Being in a macho profession, it was devastating to be known as gay and even worst of HIV+ status. He went through hell initially. To add on to his misery, the physician who was attending to him was his boss’s wife. I told him that if his doctor was professional, she would not disclose his case to her husband. Only after that he trusted his physician and allowed medical attention. Now with the support from his family and few close friends, he is living a positive life.
A wise friend of mine told me that if you are being diagnosed HIV+, do just take it as any other medical illness. If you are suffering from diabetic, high blood pressure, heart problem or kidney failure you do need to be on medication attention for the rest of your life. It is the same thing with being diagnosed HIV+.
Few months later, my current told me that one of his friends was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him if his friend was getting any medical attention. He told me that the friend felt that he did not need any medical attention but with the HIV+ status, gave him the passport to have unsafe sex and live life to the fullest.
Right after the Eid celebration, one of my friends came over and confessed his sin to me. That was the same day after he went for the HIV blood tests because his doctor was suspecting him to be HIV+. He also told me that he thanked god to give him a second chance to repent and prepare himself for his death.
The only similarity of these three cases is that all three believed that being diagnosed HIV+ is like a death penalty. Each of them may took different approach how to end their death but they were all seeing themselves driving in a car at 150 MPH heading towards a wall.
None of these cases believe that there is life after being diagnosed HIV+. I do feel sad for all of them. They all need to realise that with proper medical attention, positive living mentality and supportive family and friends around, one can still be HIV+ and live life to the fullest.
A friend of mine, who is a policeman, was diagnosed HIV+ 2 years ago. He had the similar psychological breakdown initially. Being in a macho profession, it was devastating to be known as gay and even worst of HIV+ status. He went through hell initially. To add on to his misery, the physician who was attending to him was his boss’s wife. I told him that if his doctor was professional, she would not disclose his case to her husband. Only after that he trusted his physician and allowed medical attention. Now with the support from his family and few close friends, he is living a positive life.
A wise friend of mine told me that if you are being diagnosed HIV+, do just take it as any other medical illness. If you are suffering from diabetic, high blood pressure, heart problem or kidney failure you do need to be on medication attention for the rest of your life. It is the same thing with being diagnosed HIV+.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Straighten Up
It is the Eid Mubarak Festive season again. Like most Muslim of Malaysia, I did the ‘balik kampung’ thingy (back to home town). As usual the only thing to do during this festive season was to go around visiting relatives’ houses. But without fail, the same question that kept popping out frequently is, ‘When will you be getting married?’ Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I wish I could just tell them that I am gay and would only want to marry a MAN!
Living in KL, far way from my hometown, I am openly gay living with my boyfriend where my friends and neighbours respect and understand our lifestyle. Back in my hometown, I obviously had to pretend to be straight. Thank god that this game of charade is only for the short visit of the festive season. However, not all are fortunate enough ‘to go back’ to their dream lifestyle. During this festive season, I had the opportunity to see my cousins, who I know are gays themselves, living the life that is expected by the society. Yup, pretending being straight and married with a wife!
Most amazingly, they worked very hard to straighten themselves. Two years ago my cousin initially had to adopt a child to build his family. Both my cousin and his wife did not disclose whose fault it was for the long barren years but your guess would be as good as mine. However, after the first adopted child, he seemed to like the idea of being a father and worked very hard to become one of his own and at last did he become one on my last visit.
My other gay cousin built his family quite instantaneous after his wedding. I was happy for him but the last update I got from his mom is that he is having a second wife! How far does this cousin of mine want to proof his ‘straightness’? Or does he really like the creatures from Venus?
Whatever it is, I do take off my hat off for both them.
Living in KL, far way from my hometown, I am openly gay living with my boyfriend where my friends and neighbours respect and understand our lifestyle. Back in my hometown, I obviously had to pretend to be straight. Thank god that this game of charade is only for the short visit of the festive season. However, not all are fortunate enough ‘to go back’ to their dream lifestyle. During this festive season, I had the opportunity to see my cousins, who I know are gays themselves, living the life that is expected by the society. Yup, pretending being straight and married with a wife!
Most amazingly, they worked very hard to straighten themselves. Two years ago my cousin initially had to adopt a child to build his family. Both my cousin and his wife did not disclose whose fault it was for the long barren years but your guess would be as good as mine. However, after the first adopted child, he seemed to like the idea of being a father and worked very hard to become one of his own and at last did he become one on my last visit.
My other gay cousin built his family quite instantaneous after his wedding. I was happy for him but the last update I got from his mom is that he is having a second wife! How far does this cousin of mine want to proof his ‘straightness’? Or does he really like the creatures from Venus?
Whatever it is, I do take off my hat off for both them.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The Encounter 3
Don’t judge the book from its cover!
Horny as usual forced me to cruise for fun. Went to Jurassic Park, a name only know to PLU (people like us). Meet this nice clean Chinese chap. Well groomed and dressed in a stripped long sleeves shirt with proper trousers. Probably he just got out from his office.
We casually said hi and he invited me over to his place. I agreed and went back to his place.
At his place, he invited me in. As soon as I got in, he locked the door and door grille with series of keys. I just thought he was being extra careful with security.
We walked to his living area. He had his TV on and his porn video was playing. It was an S&M video. I was slightly shocked but what the hack ….
Few minutes later, both of us were on the floor naked and were on each other. The room was lit with candles. The S&M video was still running. I was enjoying it. Out of the sudden, he stopped and went straight to the kitchen without excusing himself. He came back with a condom filled with water that was frozen. It looked huge man! I just stared at the frozen dildo. He told me to fuck him with it. I was resisted initially but obliged later. He was enjoying it. I was disgusted. I tried to make him cum to end it all and yet he did not cum. After a while, he grabbed one of the candles. He told me drip the molten wax on his asshole while fucking him with the frozen dildo. Eh? Crazy? Yup, but still I did what he wanted me to do.
I was just wanted to go. Then I decided to make myself cum so that he would let me go. I focused and focused to make myself cum. In the end, I came and thought I was able to get myself out of all this. He then told me that he would only allow me to leave if I make him cum. He said the door and door grille were both locked of which only he knew where the keys were. I was his prisoner! Damn!
He told me that the only way that he will cum if I was to shit and pee on him. I told him I am not able to do so. He reminded me that I was to make him cum before he was to let me go. I negotiated to just pee on him as I was definitely not able to pass motion on top of anyone. He was ok with it. I stood up and put my whole mind and body to pee on him. In the end, I managed to pee on his chest and mouth. Amazingly, as soon as I pee on him, he came instantaneous. Thank god to that … I was so FUCKING disgusted!
After all that, he casually let me out.
Horny as usual forced me to cruise for fun. Went to Jurassic Park, a name only know to PLU (people like us). Meet this nice clean Chinese chap. Well groomed and dressed in a stripped long sleeves shirt with proper trousers. Probably he just got out from his office.
We casually said hi and he invited me over to his place. I agreed and went back to his place.
At his place, he invited me in. As soon as I got in, he locked the door and door grille with series of keys. I just thought he was being extra careful with security.
We walked to his living area. He had his TV on and his porn video was playing. It was an S&M video. I was slightly shocked but what the hack ….
Few minutes later, both of us were on the floor naked and were on each other. The room was lit with candles. The S&M video was still running. I was enjoying it. Out of the sudden, he stopped and went straight to the kitchen without excusing himself. He came back with a condom filled with water that was frozen. It looked huge man! I just stared at the frozen dildo. He told me to fuck him with it. I was resisted initially but obliged later. He was enjoying it. I was disgusted. I tried to make him cum to end it all and yet he did not cum. After a while, he grabbed one of the candles. He told me drip the molten wax on his asshole while fucking him with the frozen dildo. Eh? Crazy? Yup, but still I did what he wanted me to do.
I was just wanted to go. Then I decided to make myself cum so that he would let me go. I focused and focused to make myself cum. In the end, I came and thought I was able to get myself out of all this. He then told me that he would only allow me to leave if I make him cum. He said the door and door grille were both locked of which only he knew where the keys were. I was his prisoner! Damn!
He told me that the only way that he will cum if I was to shit and pee on him. I told him I am not able to do so. He reminded me that I was to make him cum before he was to let me go. I negotiated to just pee on him as I was definitely not able to pass motion on top of anyone. He was ok with it. I stood up and put my whole mind and body to pee on him. In the end, I managed to pee on his chest and mouth. Amazingly, as soon as I pee on him, he came instantaneous. Thank god to that … I was so FUCKING disgusted!
After all that, he casually let me out.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The Encounter 2
I have been admiring this cute Chinese guy for some time. I have seen him around town, clubs and also at my usual hangout place in Bangsar.
One Sunday, I saw him with one of my friend at MPH Bangsar. I went up to my friend and ask if this boy was going out with him. My friend explained that he was just a friend and I asked him to introduce me to the Chinese guy. After the introduction, all three of us went out for coffee and that was where we exchanged number.
The whole week I was thinking of him. We were calling each other and I thought that we have so much in common. Naturally, I asked him out the following Saturday and he accepted it.
Saturday came and I was all excited. I picked him up and we went to a nice cozy Japanese restaurant. We were flirting with each other the whole night and the waitresses were noticing it too. I did not care at all.
After dinner, he invited me to stay over at his place. I was overjoyed. As soon as we were in his apartment, we went straight to his bed for sex. After we were done, I took out my cigarette to smoke. He slowly moved out of the bed and went to his CD player. I thought he just wanted to hear some music. He had Ziana Zain on. He turned to me and was holding the remote control in his hand like a microphone. He then started lip sinking to the song. Oh my god! He was doing a DRAG show! I was dumbfounded. My jaw just dropped. I was speechless!
If I wanted a women, might as well I get the real one! Of course after that incident, I decided not to see him again.
One Sunday, I saw him with one of my friend at MPH Bangsar. I went up to my friend and ask if this boy was going out with him. My friend explained that he was just a friend and I asked him to introduce me to the Chinese guy. After the introduction, all three of us went out for coffee and that was where we exchanged number.
The whole week I was thinking of him. We were calling each other and I thought that we have so much in common. Naturally, I asked him out the following Saturday and he accepted it.
Saturday came and I was all excited. I picked him up and we went to a nice cozy Japanese restaurant. We were flirting with each other the whole night and the waitresses were noticing it too. I did not care at all.
After dinner, he invited me to stay over at his place. I was overjoyed. As soon as we were in his apartment, we went straight to his bed for sex. After we were done, I took out my cigarette to smoke. He slowly moved out of the bed and went to his CD player. I thought he just wanted to hear some music. He had Ziana Zain on. He turned to me and was holding the remote control in his hand like a microphone. He then started lip sinking to the song. Oh my god! He was doing a DRAG show! I was dumbfounded. My jaw just dropped. I was speechless!
If I wanted a women, might as well I get the real one! Of course after that incident, I decided not to see him again.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The Encounter 1
It all happened ten years ago. I was young and naïve. I was a young professional who had no life but work. I had had heard so much about the gay nightlife in KL and was all excited about the gay scene. One fine night, I braved the darkness and decided to go out to that very gay disco in the city centre that I heard so much. As I had no gay friend then, I had to go alone. Upon arriving at the disco, I was overwhelmed with the place and was impressed with drag show they put on. Unfortunately, I only was enjoying it all from the bar. I dare not let my hair-downed, as it was my first time there. Suddenly, I noticed that someone was looking in my direction. He was cute and in his late twenties. I looked behind me to check if he was looking at someone else behind me but no one was looking at him. I looked back at him and he was still looking at me. He was still smiling at me. I managed to crack a smile back to him. He stood up and walked toward my direction. I felt my heart beat so fast that I wanted to faint. He stretched his hand out and introduced himself to me. He was a smooth operator and I like him so much.
I invited him over to my apartment. He said yes. I was so happy that I came out that night and could not stop thinking that I was so lucky to meet this amazing guy.
We took the cab to my place. In the cab, he was so sweet holding my hand and squeezing it. I felt so shy with the driver. Upon arriving to my apartment, he said that he was thirst. I went back to the kitchen and pour drinks for both of us. Both of us were sitting in front of the TV set in the lounge area. I had my hand all over him but he suddenly became a chatterbox. All chat and no play. I tried to unzip him but he kept on pushing my hand away. I just let him chatted a bit more and …… zzzzzz
I realized that I was dozing off on the couch sleeping with my cloth on. I tried to remember what had happened. It was a bit fuzzy at first but after a short while, the whole incident came back to me. I stood up and went around looking for the guy. He was not around. I saw the front door was unlocked and I knew then that he had left. Then my instinct told me to check my wallet. My instinct was spot on! I checked my bedroom and he had gone through my stuff in the bedroom too.
Only then, I realized that he had spiked my drink. I am not sure when did he do it, but the fact is, DO NOT trust anyone that you bring back home for ONS!
I invited him over to my apartment. He said yes. I was so happy that I came out that night and could not stop thinking that I was so lucky to meet this amazing guy.
We took the cab to my place. In the cab, he was so sweet holding my hand and squeezing it. I felt so shy with the driver. Upon arriving to my apartment, he said that he was thirst. I went back to the kitchen and pour drinks for both of us. Both of us were sitting in front of the TV set in the lounge area. I had my hand all over him but he suddenly became a chatterbox. All chat and no play. I tried to unzip him but he kept on pushing my hand away. I just let him chatted a bit more and …… zzzzzz
I realized that I was dozing off on the couch sleeping with my cloth on. I tried to remember what had happened. It was a bit fuzzy at first but after a short while, the whole incident came back to me. I stood up and went around looking for the guy. He was not around. I saw the front door was unlocked and I knew then that he had left. Then my instinct told me to check my wallet. My instinct was spot on! I checked my bedroom and he had gone through my stuff in the bedroom too.
Only then, I realized that he had spiked my drink. I am not sure when did he do it, but the fact is, DO NOT trust anyone that you bring back home for ONS!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Football month!
I was on a company trip to Singapore. We had a convention to attend and to meet up with potential clients in Singapore. It was a four days trip. Because it was a short trip and my company wanted to capitalised on our trip there, the management managed to cramp our schedule in the four days with the convention, meetings, cocktails and dinner appointments.
However, they forgotten the fact it was also the world football month! It is the World Cup! Of course, I never give a damn about because I would prefer Miss World competition myself. I thought this will not affect me at all but I was wrong.
I went to this business trip with a bunch of this bunch of my colleagues who are Pussy Lover Football Freaks. As I am straight acting and not totally out of the closet, I also had to pretend to be Pussy Lover Football Freak. Right after dinner, I had no choice but to be with them to watch the match. They were drinking beer by the jugs and had girls lap dancers to entertain us during half time. I had to pretend to enjoy the party but my heart yearns for some gorgeous hunk doing the lap dancing instead.
Having staying in the same hotel made it even worst. One night I decided to leave early but when the match was about to start they woke me up and asked me to joined them. This was 2.30 in the morning. I NEEDED my beauty sleep. Fucker!!!!!
You could not imagine how happy I was when I reached back home from the trip. I needed my sanity back from the trip. I opened a bottle of red wine, put on my Ella Fitzgerald CD and soaked myself in my aromatherapy bath.
However, they forgotten the fact it was also the world football month! It is the World Cup! Of course, I never give a damn about because I would prefer Miss World competition myself. I thought this will not affect me at all but I was wrong.
I went to this business trip with a bunch of this bunch of my colleagues who are Pussy Lover Football Freaks. As I am straight acting and not totally out of the closet, I also had to pretend to be Pussy Lover Football Freak. Right after dinner, I had no choice but to be with them to watch the match. They were drinking beer by the jugs and had girls lap dancers to entertain us during half time. I had to pretend to enjoy the party but my heart yearns for some gorgeous hunk doing the lap dancing instead.
Having staying in the same hotel made it even worst. One night I decided to leave early but when the match was about to start they woke me up and asked me to joined them. This was 2.30 in the morning. I NEEDED my beauty sleep. Fucker!!!!!
You could not imagine how happy I was when I reached back home from the trip. I needed my sanity back from the trip. I opened a bottle of red wine, put on my Ella Fitzgerald CD and soaked myself in my aromatherapy bath.
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