Birthday Bash

I had it all planned. My birthday bash was gonna be at a nice posh bar on a roof top overlooking the KL Petronas twin tower. The theme for that night was Oriental. Beautiful pizzas and finger food were ordered with free flow drinks for the nite. Invitations to my selected friends were sent out and so is to my 2 potentials. Was hoping some magic gonna happen with either of them. I was so excited. It bloody better be cuz I am spending an obese amount for the nite!

Both of the potentials know that I am interested with them but both have not said a definite a yes or a no. I hanging on a string and could not make a decision. I need either one of them to make the first move. Call me conservative, call me the typical melayu boy but that is how I was brought up. So malu one! But I am sure my chance is higher with 2 potentials right?!

The actual night came. Full moon just floating above the twin towers. Such a perfect romantic setting. Everyone arrived in Chongsam (chinese attire) and one guy friend even wore a kimono with a fan. Memoirs of Geisha inspired him. Everyone had fun as the night went by. My 2 potentials were having fun too. I tried my best to have fun but in the end, my heart just could not. Neither the 2 potentials did not make any move at all. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sexually Compulsive Gay Men

A recent study by Jeffery Parsons, a New Yorker sex researcher, found there are 3 categories of sex addicts: The first group engaged in sex to alleviate negative feeling, anxiety, and stress. The second group was addicted as to the chase of actual sex - for them it was about the trill and excitement of the new catch. The third group, which he called "relationship obsessed," had sex with many men in hopes of landing Mr. Right, who would, as the fantasy goes, make everything ok.

The frustration bit of this report is that I fall into all the above categories. So how do i categorise myself?

Or probably I am in the last forgotten category i.e. A SLUT!

Single & Free Again

I have been in a relationship with this man for more than 2 years. He was older and professional. We seemed to make a nice couple. Both independent and all. We just needed each other for companionship. We stayed at our own place and never made plan to stay together. My work seemed to be taking over for the past months. He has his own set of problems. We meet less and less. I wanted full sex and he is too tired to have them. So, to cut the story short, we broke off a month ago.

Hu hu ... single again! I have this fanatasy that I could pick up man from any where and have my little fun. But still my work is piling up. Going out on the weekend seems to be more difficult. Weekdays seems a no no. How the hell do u think I can get a fuck?

I decided to heck it and force myself to go to a gay club. My friend was so happy to bring me along. We dance and dance and dance. Till I met this cute Kelantanese boy. Yup, lets go for the kill.

We exchange numbers. I thot I'll call him the next day. After club, me and my friend decided to to have teh tarik. But quite horny, I decided to give him a call. Offered him a ride home if he needed it. He said yes. YES!

After sending my friend home, I can't wait to get into the Kelatanese boy's pants. Don't know what happened, suddenly, someone bang my car from the rear at the traffic light. Damn! I was furious. When out and spoke to the culprit and his girlfriend. He gave me his mobile number and his IC no. I tried to call his phone but he said that he left his phone at home. He gave his girlfriend's no. instead. I called and her phone did rang. He told me that he will pay for the damage and i was happy with that. I don't want the boy to wait all nite, right?!

As I sent the boy back, I was already getting so horny. Managed to caress him. He asked me if I was interested in ONS or LTR. What?! I told him that ONS than we'll see lah. He was not happy with it. I just want SEX. He did brought me up and had sex, if what we did is call sex, and I did not come at all. I was so tired and decided to stay till the morning.

Early morning, there was loud bang in the living. Someone seems to to be going like a mad cow outside the room. I asked the boy if he has a boyfriend, he said,`someone who thot he is and probably is not happy that u with me now'. What the fuck!!!!!! What shit I'm in, man!

I was so afraid that he might bashed the hell out of me. The other seems to got out of the house with a big bang of the door. We waited for a short while and I rushed out the house. Thank god nothing happened.

I was still not in the right frame of mind when I remember my car. I call the guy and he did not pick his phone. Tried to call the girlfriend's mobile. She picked it up but off the phone after. Damn! I think I been conned.

The Kelantanese boy called and said he needed help. He can't handle the other boy. What does that got to do it me! Through out the day he tried to sms me and call.

My car is ruined and I got this boy on my back. I just wanted fun. I don't need all this shit man! No more clubbing for me for the next few months!

Never Enough

It is irony how one can never get enough.

When you were young and beautiful, everyone wanted a piece of you. You were on top of the world. With a snap of your fingers, many came to you. Then you decided that, I must find one BEST of the best among these homo-kesians. You made your choice and you allow yourself to fall in love with this rather ok looking much much older man who can affort your life style. Then he suggest moving-in with him and to live the life of a Tai Tai (everything from car to daily expenses). You become the green-eyed boy among your peers. (Yes! My life is great!)

Many years later, ur Lo Kong (husband) getting too old. Sex is getting lesser and lesser (or none at all). U decided to look for fun here and there. An open relationship lah as long no one gets hurt. New adventure with new age group of young boys. Then, one fine day, a cute charming boy came into your life. At first mere sex, then u wanted to see him more that once. After that, deeply falling in love with this sweet young thing. Everything is BEAUTIFUL with him.

Now what?!! You still attached to ur Lo Kong (and depended on him) but deeply in love with this sweet young thing.

The Beginning

Have been thinking of starting a blog myself. Have not actually got myself doing so until today. After getting enough inspiration from my boifriend, I decided to do so.

What do I want to write about? That is the question that I ask myself. Is it about my everyday life adventure and fantasies or about some philosophical analysis of life? Don't mind writing about my life but I'll leave this to later and about trying to be intelligent about life is another thing. Neither, I guess.

Before I go on, permit me to write a little thing about myself. I am a gay boi myself. Have been one since I remember. Born in Brunei, brought up in Kuching, studied in ITM Melaka, ITM Segamat, Nottingham Poly and Emily Woolfe of London. Started off as an accountant and now decided to give it a try in the theatre world as a producer. Had produced 2 major productions at Actor Studios and few smaller ones. But till to date, my life have been evolved around me being gay and am always intrigued by life as a gay boi. Over the years I have been collecting stories of gay boiz around me and their FRUSTRATION in life (and also mine of course).

Hence, I decided to write about my gay friends' frustration life. I have been fortunate enough to have many gay friends from my childhood till now. Most of them has their own story (or stories) to tell. I find it most exciting and I do want to share these stories with all who wants to know about gay boi life as just for knowledge or as a mirror to compare with.

I have also decided that my blog will not have a time reference. My blog may be read any at period of my posting. It will be according to my inspiration of writing on any of my friend who comes to my thought. I will try to not give my friends' identity but if you happened to identify yourself in my writing, then i do apologise for telling your story.

Hope this will be my new beginning of my writing.

Do also hope that someone would enjoy my writing.